The United Counties of Texas
I have a proposition for all the teabagger, deather, birther, tenthers. We as a country are going to give Texas exactly what they want. We are going to allow secession from the United States without a fight. We will not stand in your way. What would the United Counties of Texas look like you ask? Well first, half the population would move to the United States and a couple million “Americans” will now move to the UCofT. So the population will remain relatively the same, maybe a little smaller. But no problem, just more room for “Texans” to stretch their freedom arms and legs. The UCofT would start from scratch. So 1st is the business of starting some form of government or leadership. There would be a hotly contested presidential race between Sarah Palin, Rick Perry and Chuck Norris. Sarah Palin would eventually win and choose Ted Nugent as her vice president. There would be no congressmen, senators or mayors. Tenthers don’t need nor do they want a “big government”. So Sarah and Ted will be as big as the UCofT will allow. Then there will be schools. No longer will the citizens need to home school, as now they all agree on what will be taught. Ann Coulter will teach ethics of course, Michelle Maulkin will teach math (since she can count the best), Dick Cheney will teach history (since he clearly has his own version of it) Tom Delay will teach the Arts (since he thinks he can dance) and English will be taught by the guy in the cardinals shirt. Where’s science do you ask? Well there will be no science taught in the UCofT. Global warming does not exist, period! There is no such thing as evolution in the UCofT and to prove it there will be a picture of Adam and Eve riding on dinosaurs in the back of every class room. Every class day will start out with the pledge of allegiance to Ronald Reagan. There will be no separation of church and state in the UCofT, so all addresses given by president Sarah Palin will start with a bible verse (from the new testament of course). Now as far as Television, there are limited resources in the UCofT so there will only be 2 channels shown. One will be Fox news and the other will show re-runs of Texas Ranger (that’s the least they can do; I mean come on the guy lost the election). There will only be 2 radio stations. One will play Rush Limbaugh and the other will play country music all day long! Mean while back in the communist, fascist USofA, there is a very large wall being built around the United Counties of Texas, we finally decided it wasn’t such a bad idea. Back in the UCofT the weather is getting bad off the gulf and a huge hurricane wipes through San Pedro Island and this devastates the coastal area of the country, not knowing what to do and now that bardering is becoming more difficult, the Palin/Nugent administration realizes they have to make the people pay something, anything to help sustain the great UCofT. Slowly, the taxes rise from 1% to 2% and so on…. Now the administration sees that they can actually start to maintain the roads, provide firefighters and aid workers etc. So eventually the taxes keep rising, the people are still excepting the tax at this point, knowing that it is getting really expensive having to change all those tires due to all the pot holes. But since the population is only 3 million and their are less people contributing to the pot, the taxes keeping rising and the cost of healthcare keeps rising, due to such a small amount of profit coming in with no stock market. And before you know it Billy Bob comes home from work and says “well Betsy, I made $600 this week, but I only received $50 after taxes and I’m $2000 behind on my White Cross White Shield payment.” Before you know it the United States border patrol is running around the border wall chasing around people with Stetson hats and Belt Buckles. Ahhhhh….. a person can dream cant they?
I have a proposition for all the teabagger, deather, birther, tenthers. We as a country are going to give Texas exactly what they want. We are going to allow secession from the United States without a fight. We will not stand in your way. What would the United Counties of Texas look like you ask? Well first, half the population would move to the United States and a couple million “Americans” will now move to the UCofT. So the population will remain relatively the same, maybe a little smaller. But no problem, just more room for “Texans” to stretch their freedom arms and legs. The UCofT would start from scratch. So 1st is the business of starting some form of government or leadership. There would be a hotly contested presidential race between Sarah Palin, Rick Perry and Chuck Norris. Sarah Palin would eventually win and choose Ted Nugent as her vice president. There would be no congressmen, senators or mayors. Tenthers don’t need nor do they want a “big government”. So Sarah and Ted will be as big as the UCofT will allow. Then there will be schools. No longer will the citizens need to home school, as now they all agree on what will be taught. Ann Coulter will teach ethics of course, Michelle Maulkin will teach math (since she can count the best), Dick Cheney will teach history (since he clearly has his own version of it) Tom Delay will teach the Arts (since he thinks he can dance) and English will be taught by the guy in the cardinals shirt. Where’s science do you ask? Well there will be no science taught in the UCofT. Global warming does not exist, period! There is no such thing as evolution in the UCofT and to prove it there will be a picture of Adam and Eve riding on dinosaurs in the back of every class room. Every class day will start out with the pledge of allegiance to Ronald Reagan. There will be no separation of church and state in the UCofT, so all addresses given by president Sarah Palin will start with a bible verse (from the new testament of course). Now as far as Television, there are limited resources in the UCofT so there will only be 2 channels shown. One will be Fox news and the other will show re-runs of Texas Ranger (that’s the least they can do; I mean come on the guy lost the election). There will only be 2 radio stations. One will play Rush Limbaugh and the other will play country music all day long! Mean while back in the communist, fascist USofA, there is a very large wall being built around the United Counties of Texas, we finally decided it wasn’t such a bad idea. Back in the UCofT the weather is getting bad off the gulf and a huge hurricane wipes through San Pedro Island and this devastates the coastal area of the country, not knowing what to do and now that bardering is becoming more difficult, the Palin/Nugent administration realizes they have to make the people pay something, anything to help sustain the great UCofT. Slowly, the taxes rise from 1% to 2% and so on…. Now the administration sees that they can actually start to maintain the roads, provide firefighters and aid workers etc. So eventually the taxes keep rising, the people are still excepting the tax at this point, knowing that it is getting really expensive having to change all those tires due to all the pot holes. But since the population is only 3 million and their are less people contributing to the pot, the taxes keeping rising and the cost of healthcare keeps rising, due to such a small amount of profit coming in with no stock market. And before you know it Billy Bob comes home from work and says “well Betsy, I made $600 this week, but I only received $50 after taxes and I’m $2000 behind on my White Cross White Shield payment.” Before you know it the United States border patrol is running around the border wall chasing around people with Stetson hats and Belt Buckles. Ahhhhh….. a person can dream cant they?
